Ten

I’ve lost 10 pounds thus far while doing Weight Watchers online. Oh, I should mention, I’ve been doing this for 2 weeks so far. This is exciting for me because before Weight Watchers, I was gaining 2 pounds a week pretty steady for a while. I was at my highest weight ever just a little over 2 weeks ago, 245. That’s pretty incredible typing that number. Sobering. I need to lose 100 pounds. Well 90 now. Still… SOBERING. A slap in the face.
How did this happen?
How?
I… Me? I need to lose 90 pounds? Insane.
I’m accountable for this weight gain.
I can lose this weight.
Things that threw me for a loop?
A bad relationship.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Loneliness.
I’m not making excuses… I know I’m in control of the foods I buy and eat.
But it’s important to examine the past and what was wrong and fix it.
The medication I was on for depression could have added to it.
Maybe the birth control pill was doing it.
Maybe it was everything altogether causing the weight gain in one year. (not all of it, I was holding steady between 180 & 200 for YEARS before I gained 50 pounds in 1 year. Last year).
Or maybe it was none of it causing it.
Maybe I was just lazy.
I honestly don’t believe that’s the only reason why. I know I needed to fix me. I’m still fixing me
Life is hard, man. No joke. I’m 32 years old now. I’d never want to be 15, 21 or 25 again. It was hard. It had its’ good moments, but I’ve learned a lot in those years up until now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning. But, I have never been happier than I am now. I just need to show it by taking care of myself and making my health a priority. I deserve it.

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4 Responses to Ten

  1. This hits very close to home for me. I started out at almost exactly the same weight and have lost 90. It took a lot of hard work and I still want to lose 20 more but it’s been an amazing journey. Try to let go of all the whys and just focus on the present changes you’re making and how good they make you feel on a daily basis. You won’t see huge scale changes every week- focus on the way your body starts to become more efficient and developed and stronger even when the scale doesn’t paint the whole picture. Release the shame and sorrow of why you got where you are because it will only hold you back. It held me back for so long but I learned to let it go and my life is all the better for it.

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